How to Find the Right Matchmaker for You: 5 Smart Tips

Hiring a matchmaker is a deeply personal decision and one that deserves thoughtful consideration. Whether you’re newly single, burned out on dating apps, or simply ready for a more intentional approach to finding a partner, the right matchmaker can save you time, energy, and emotional bandwidth.

If you’re searching for a matchmaker in your city (or beyond), here are five essential tips to help you choose wisely.

1. Do Your Research (Beyond the Homepage)

Start by looking beyond glossy marketing. Read reviews, testimonials, and media mentions to get a fuller picture of how a matchmaker actually works with clients. Pay attention to patterns in feedback—do people mention feeling supported, respected, and understood? Do success stories sound realistic rather than overpromised?

A professional matchmaker should be transparent about:

• Their process

• The level of personalization involved

• Who is actually doing the matchmaking (and how)

• How many clients a matchmaker must manage at a time

If this information is hard to find or unclear, that’s worth noting.

2. Ask for Referrals You Trust

Word-of-mouth still matters. If you know someone who has worked with a matchmaker—successfully or not—ask about their experience. Helpful questions include:

• Did they feel listened to?

• Was the process aligned with their values and goals?

• Did expectations match reality?

Even if their matchmaker isn’t right for you, referrals can help you understand what does and doesn’t work for different personalities and life stages.

3. Meet the Matchmaker Before You Commit

A consultation isn’t just about logistics—it’s about fit. This person (or team) will be making deeply personal recommendations on your behalf. You should feel comfortable asking questions and confident that they understand your dating goals.

During a meeting, pay attention to:

• How clearly they explain their process

• Whether they set realistic expectations

• How they respond to your dealbreakers and non-negotiables

• Their professionalism and boundaries

If you feel rushed, pressured, or oversold, that’s a sign to pause.

4. Look for Relevant Expertise—not “Everyone”

Not all matchmakers serve all clients equally. Some specialize by age group, lifestyle, religion, cultural background, or relationship goals. Others take a more general approach.

Ask yourself:

• Do they regularly work with people in my stage of life?

• Do they understand the values that matter most to me?

• Are they experienced with the type of relationship I’m seeking?

Specialization often leads to better outcomes, because it reflects deeper networks and clearer matchmaking instincts.

5. Check Credentials and Ethical Standards

Professional accountability matters in an unregulated industry. Look for matchmakers who are members of organizations like the Matchmakers Alliance or the GLI, which promotes ethical standards, continuing education, and best practices within the industry.

Membership doesn’t guarantee a perfect match—but it does signal professionalism, transparency, and a commitment to client care.

A Smarter First Step: Get Strategic Guidance

If you’re unsure which type of matchmaking support is right for you, a dating strategy call can help clarify your goals and options. A trained consultant can assess your needs, explain different matchmaking models, and recommend an approach that aligns with your expectations—before you invest your time or money.

Final Thought:
There is no single “best” matchmaker—only the best one for you. Take your time, ask thoughtful questions, and trust how you feel during the process. The right partnership should feel collaborative, grounded, and aligned with the kind of relationship you’re truly ready for.

If you are selective, value your privacy, want meaningful results, and recognize that your dating pool has changed with time, professional matchmaking may be the right next step.

Author

Lucinda Luttrell

Lucinda is a Senior Matchmaker at Agape Match, where she works closely with clients to help them find and foster meaningful relationships. With a keen eye for compatibility and a passion for bringing people together, Lucinda meets with matches, curates connections, and supports clients as they navigate their matchmaking journey.